WHY DO PEOPLE SAY “LET LOVE FIND YOU, DON’T LOOK FOR IT”?

Some of you need to read this.

Why do people say “let love find you, don’t look for it” because:

• “Needy” is ugly
• Being “needy” repels relationships
• Rejection stings
• Failing to find love could lead to disappointment, depression, and self-doubt
• Rewards without work; feel incredible!
• Unexpected chemistry or “chemical oxytocin” feels wonderful!
• Your friends may hate to see you stressed about being single
• Your friends would rather help you relax and accept your singlehood than to listen to your complaining all the time.

As a matchmaking firm; some of our clients need to relax and simply have fun on their dates. This helps them to authentically display some of their wonderful qualities to their potential love connection.

However, the love stories that just “happen”, without any efforts to find them, are as rare as winning the lottery.

Since we care about the quality of your life and we want what is best for you.

I just can’t sit back and watch you sit back, HOPING that love will show up at your door…..

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DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO DIE?

pause…. think about this…..

Time is not our friend my friend. Time is more valuable than gold. Are you still waiting?

• DO YOU WANT TO FIND SOMEONE TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH? 
• Someone to share holidays with, to take care of you when you are sick, to build inside-jokes with, to go to church with, movies, vacation or hiking?
• Do you want to have children?
• Do you want to build a future, pick out a home together, or even make love with someone special?

If some of your answers are yes, then I would NOT simply “let love find you.” Love can find you even when you are looking for it. Your odds of winning the lottery increase dramatically with a little/a lot of extra effort.

Now for some practical advice, as I promised earlier:

Step 1. Self-improvement:

set time aside to make goals that will increase the quality of your life, with or without a crush. Having goals is very attractive. As you make progress; you will feel incredible about yourself. If your overall happiness increases; you become much more attractive to a potential heartthrob.

Step 2. Increase your odds:

Meet 5+ new people a week. I mean like, find out their name, possible phone number and make a “play date”. This is not for the purpose of finding a match at this time, although that can happen too. This is for the purpose of creating more friendships outside of your current circles who could potentially set you up with more potential matches in the future.

Step 3. Find your support system: 

Someone who will give you honest advice about your appearance. Someone who will help you identify what is most important for you to find in a match. A cheerleader who doesn’t let you beat yourself up if/when you get rejected. Someone who helps you see the “red flags” early. Someone who helps you try new things and pushes you to step outside of your comfort zone. Someone who is supportive. Someone who has high standards for you. Someone with practical relationship coaching advice. Ideally, someone who is great at introducing you to quality potential matches would be great too.

Original answer posted by Jennifer Warner on Quora