Why People Cheat

Dating and relationships have their ugly aspects. While one should not overly focus on the negatives, on occasion, those ugly aspects should be examined. One of the biggest ugly aspects that can plague a relationship is infidelity. Before we go on to explain why people cheat, let’s be clear: this is NOT an article justifying infidelity. This article is about explaining the potential reasons certain people may choose to cheat. I am not giving you a list of excuses, or saying that it should always be forgiven. Now, let’s get to it: why do people cheat on partners they love?

1. People Can Be Terrible

The first reason people might cheat is one of the most shallow and most hurtful: some people are just terrible human beings. There are guys who will cheat on their partners because they can. There are girls who will cheat to provide a breakup excuse. Both sexes will cheat and either give a poorly-thought-out reason to excuse themselves or just keep going unapologetically until they get caught. They may even blame you, which is manipulative and dangerous. These people are just toxic, and you should stay away from them.

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. -Tony Robbins

2.There is lack of communication

In relationships, can start as small problems and slowly compound into serious complications. These issues could be in the bedroom, in your emotional connections, or even in your daily habits. Your partner might cheat on you in a search to get something they are not receiving from you. Not talking about the small problems in your relationship could exacerbate the situation and possibly lead to infidelity. Talking to each other is the key to avoiding such issues. I will not lie, this can be hard, especially if you think it might cause worse problems. You will need to take a leap of faith and talk. If your partner is confiding in you about something he or she wants, you will need to be open to it. Talking openly is a difficult task, but it’s necessary, and much better than letting pressures build up internally.

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. -Tony Robbins

3. It is a sign that something else is wrong

If you discover your partner has cheated on you, it might be as simple as being a symptom of something else in your relationship. Maybe one of you is regretting where you both are. Maybe the spark you both had is waning. There could be hundreds of possible issues or problems. These symptoms can drive one person to search for an answer in someone other than their partner. If you find yourself in such a situation, then you need to talk to each other and find a solution. There is an answer, though it might not be what you were hoping for. Your actions affect people; do not do something you will regret or that will cause emotional harm.

Remember: courage, unused, diminishes. Commitment, unexercised, wanes. Love, unshared, dissipates. -Tony Robbins

Cheating on a partner is one the most hurtful things someone can do to their partner. A relationship is built on trust, and infidelity breaks that trust completely. At times, it can be prevented by talking to each other, or even asking advice from a friend. A temptation can build or present itself, but you have willpower; use it. Controlling temptation can be a challenge, but it is more important to do so than to hurt your partner.

A list of reasons for cheating: https://www.thespruce.com/why-married-people-cheat-2300656

A good article in read about people and infidelity: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-happy-people-cheat-hlg/

More insight in the reasons of infidelity: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.za/2017/10/23/why-do-people-in-happy-relationships-still-cheat-on-their-partner_a_23252355/

A psychology angle: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201209/the-eight-reasons-people-cheat-their-partners

An interview with an author who wrote about infidelity: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/10/17/why-do-people-in-good-relationships-cheat-esther-perel-answers-our-questions-on-infidelity/?utm_term=.8be45c22bb03

Editor | Emily Sussman