Everyone’s heard the stereotype: women are impossible to understand. Men are born deficient in woman-speak, simply not built to understand how females work or why they do what they do. Men and women, therefore, end up caught in an eternal cycle of frustration—passive warfare, man-versus-woman. The guys who promote this way of thinking clearly don’t pay a whole lot of attention to the women they date.

An observance is an art form in the dating world; her body language, her tone, subtle (or not so subtle) touching, these are your key clues to knowing whether she’s into you. Women are stimulated by conversation—physiologically speaking—more than men. As this isn’t necessarily common knowledge, this leads to huge miscommunications between the sexes.

Men are more action-oriented and typically have a sharper learning curve when it comes to effective communication, but it’s essential to exceptional dating. “Pay attention, reap rewards” should be every man’s mantra for courting the opposite sex. Now, with the understanding of our communication differences in mind, let’s talk about the signs you need to be looking for when you’re out with that special lady, to know whether to ask for that second date.

1. She plays with her hair.
   

   There are several psychological reasons why women play with their hair, but the most widely known circumstance is during flirtation. But, why is this so common? It can be a way to draw attention to her hair, which is one of the things men find most attractive about a woman. It’s playful and cute, which is exactly how she may want you to see her. Pay attention to when she plays with her hair; was it when the waiter was taking your order? Maybe she was just focusing on the menu. Or, was it when you were discussing the medical equipment you design to help terminally ill patients live more comfortably? Maybe she thinks you’re a stud.

2. She’s a question factory.
   

   As mentioned above, women are stimulated by conversation, and she’s not going to be asking you many questions if she’s not interested. The type of questions she asks is important as well; if the conversations starting to feel stale, it’s time to spice it up. If you’ve been at the table for an hour, and she’s still asking surface questions like “So, are you from around here?” it means that the date hasn’t moved past the “I don’t know you but I’m trying” stage, instead of the “Now, what do we have here?” stage. The latter is the one you want to be in. Start asking questions about her; hobbies, career, family, and if she reciprocates with some enthusiasm, you’re in business. Breaking the ice can be an art form in itself.

3. All eyes on you.

   Is her gaze wandering? Are her eyes a little glazed over? Chances are, you’re either talking about something that would only be interesting to you, or you’ve just been talking for too long. Conversations are two-way, so make her feel involved. It’s a sure sign that she’s into you when her eye contact is consistent, and she’s focused on you, and only you when you’re speaking. It’s not only a show of respect, it’s also a display of interest; capitalize on those signals to pursue less formal, and more fun conversation.

4. “That’s, like, the third time she’s touched my hand…”
   

   This is one of the clearest signs she can give you, so don’t mistake it. Touch is hugely important to flirtation. If every time you get a laugh out of her, she touches your arm or hand, that’s a clear sign she finds you attractive and wants you to know it. Now, just because she hasn’t touched your hand yet doesn’t mean she isn’t attracted to you; maybe she’s a little shy. Just keep in mind that if it happens, you did a good job.

5. Posture predictions.

   Maybe the most difficult to judge correctly—also, the most accurate way to determine your date’s level of interest—is body language. Is her torso positioned toward you, or slightly skewed to one side, almost like she’s only partially part of the conversation? That’s what you don’t want to see; it’s time to flip the charm switch to “ON.” What you do want to see is her leaning toward you, facing in your direction; maybe her hand is slowly, minute-by-minute, moving closer to yours. The position of her body can tell you as much as her diary if you develop the right eye.

6. The compliments keep coming.
   

   There’s a good chance she’s not complimenting you just to be polite. After two, three, four or seven direct compliments about how you look, your character or decisions, it becomes pretty clear that she’s interested. Don’t get overly caught up in how good she makes you feel and miss the signs; she’s attracted to you, and she’s trying to make it clear without outright saying it. You should feel good though; at that point, there’s a great chance you’ve already got that second date in the bag.

7. It doesn’t seem like she’s in a hurry.
   

   Do you think she’d hang around for three hours drinking martinis if she didn’t find you at least a little good-looking? If she seems like she’s enjoying herself, and doesn’t check the time every ten minutes, relax and have a good time. She wants to be around you; that’s the biggest compliment you can get.

If she makes you feel interesting, attractive, and exciting, there’s a good chance you are, and she thinks so. Not every date is going to turn into a relationship, but that’s part of the fun: meeting new people and practicing your dating techniques. Again, the key is to pay attention, because you’ll gather everything you need to make the right move on that date, whether it be to gently part ways, or to pursue each other. Either way, fine-tuning your listening and observation will lead to, at its worst, an informative practice date. At its best—the love of your life.