The 5 BIGGEST REASONS WHY YOU’RE NOT FINDING LOVE 

Being single has become some sort of lifestyle: desired for some but feared for others. As someone who is looking to find romance, desire, and passion, it can feel as though you are alone romantically, emotionally, and physically. The easiest scapegoat for singles who aren’t successful in their dating ventures is to blame the world. Oftentimes we hear statements like, “there are no more decent men/women out there in this city,” “why do I always fall for guys/girls who treat me poorly,” or “the universe clearly just doesn’t want me finding love.” However, all eligible daters know deep down the issues sometimes come from within. It’s important to note that internal blocks, whether they are dating anxiety, faulty dating habits, or the common fear of putting oneself out there, are things that can be worked on. There are reasons why you aren’t finding love! Taking these reasons into account will lead to self-improvement and increase the likelihood of finding that special someone.

1. Lack of Self Esteem

Sabrina Alexis from Thought Catalog states that “in order to attract a real relationship, you first need to make sure that you are in the right place emotionally. Make sure you want a relationship for the right reasons, not just to fill a void or make you feel better about yourself. You also need to develop a firm sense of who you are and learn how to be happy without a relationship.”

Insecurity will hold you back and hinder your ability to show off all you have to offer. When searching for love, it’s fundamental to know your worth, to value yourself, and to recognize all of what you deserve. Don’t settle!

2. Hung Up On The Ex

There’s always that one ex-partner who you can’t seem to let go. Their personality, appearance, and outlook on life. have seeped so far into your psyche that finding someone new seems nearly inconceivable. When hung up on an ex, meeting new people and searching for lovers might not prove prosperous. On the bright side, time heals. Take your time; maybe it’s just too soon!

3. You Desire The Idea of Love NOT The Reality of Companionship

Sometimes the idea of having a partner is lovelier than the reality of having a romantic companion. Are the daters yearning for an idea or the reality? Bolde notes, “Sometimes you think you want love because your life has gotten kind of boring lately. Maybe you really do adore the single lifestyle and don’t want to say goodbye just yet.” Do some soul searching. The real goal will come to the surface!

4. Delusions/Extreme Expectations

Singles are prone to create ideal partners in their minds. The issue with such an action is one that’s easily recognizable. It’s impossible to find the person created in your head! Okay, sure, your ideal partner might be 6 feet tall, work as a banker, enjoy going to fancy restaurants, love music, and adore puppies, but does this person really exist? And more importantly, are they worthy of your love? Go in with an open mind; maybe this person has 2 out of 5 preferred qualities. Balance and compromise are essential. Take a possible partner for who they are and not for who you want them to be. You may be pleasantly surprised.

5. All The Wrong Places

Tinder, Bumble, or Happn. have taken up much of the data on many singles’ cellphones. Yes, there have been success stories from these apps, yet they do have the overwhelming reputation to solely serve as “hookup” apps. When looking for love, steering way from hookup culture could serve singles well. Promiscuity often ends up yielding a false sense of affection, attention, and love. If hooking up is the intention, all power to you! All the same, if love is what you’re looking for, be honest in your profiles, go out to singles’ bars or events, or ask around to see if any mutual friends are on the “love hunt” as well.

The dating world can sometimes feel like a minefield of What Not to Do. It does get hard sometimes, but hang in there! Remember, your drive and desire to find the one has the ability to overthrow the roadblocks in the way of finding them. Keep your chin up; the world is most definitely not out to get you!

Sources:

https://thoughtcatalog.com/sabrina-alexis/2016/09/the-real-reasons-you-cant-find-love/

https://www.bolde.com/youre-not-finding-love-ask-questions/

Written by Sari Ghamar

Edited by Emily Sussman