How to HANDLE REJECTION

Enlist a friend.

Find someone to act in your best interests while you are unbearably upset. Ideally, this friend will dissuade you from brash retaliatory or desperate action. If you are like most people, you will also need to vent– It is healthy to fully experience emotions, even the negative ones, in order to process them and emerge stronger. Just remember to return the favor when your friend needs it.

Face Your Feelings.

Take a day or two to face your feelings head-on. Admit to your feelings of rejection, have a good cry, phone a friend, and watch too many episodes of your favorite sitcom. If you address your feelings up front, they won’t hide in the shadows and come out to get you later. Just remember, while wallowing, to maintain adequate discretion.

Remember: Just because you want a person to feel a certain way, does not mean they have to.

You cannot control how someone else feels. But you can take a look at how you feel, yourself, and unpack that in a healthy way. Though your feelings are not your fault, they are your responsibility.

Distract yourself.

No, not with alcohol. In fact, avoid anything psychoactive– hand it all over to a trusted friend if it tempts you. And in the meantime, keep busy. Is there a project at work or at home to power through, or an exercise class you’d like to attend? Not only will constructive activities keep you in a more positive headspace, but they will also make your life easier once you’ve emerged from your heartbreak.

Now doesn’t define forever.

Remember the aphorism: “This too will end.” People in advanced years are often able to look at the greater scope of their situations rather than becoming stuck in every rut because they have so much experience doing this. After a romantic disappointment, it may be tempting to swear off love and dating in a bid for self-protection and defense. But remember that just because you feel the way you do right now does not mean you will feel that way forever. It will get better.

Remind yourself what’s out there.

You may occasionally feel as if no opportunity will rise to replace the one you just lost– Disprove this delusion. Take some time to walk down the street in a metropolitan area and remember how many beautiful people surround you every day. Ask around to see if any of your companions can recommend you to an attractive, single friend. Now may not be the time to act on these possibilities, as thorough healing takes time, but reminders that the rest of your life is ahead of you are always a good idea.