How to GET BACK INTO DATING AFTER A LONG BREAK
Have you been single for a long time since your most recent breakup? Has being single left you with a feeling or lifestyle that’s all too comfortable? Are you ready to get back into the dating game and spice things up a bit? Though scary, here are some things to consider along with some helpful tips!
Make Sure It’s What You Want
It’s commonplace for friends and family to urge singles to get back into the dating game. Remember, it’s you who has complete control. You do not need to put yourself out there if it’s not truly what you want. On the other hand, if you’re comfortable with your decision to get back into the world of dating, be proud, be brave, and be optimistic.
Work On Your Confidence
Being in the right mindset for dating will only increase the chances for positive outcomes and more pleasant experiences. In the case, this long break was prompted by a divorce or a difficult breakup, it’d only be to your advantage to evaluate your level of confidence. There’s no shame in putting work in to improve your self-esteem and notice your self-worth! Talk to your friends and family, they’ll reassure you of all of your positive attributes. You’re great and now could be the time to start showing that off again.
Recognize Your Bravery
Relate notes, “It’s a brave decision to get back in the ring. It takes courage to give things a go again, especially if you’ve had bad relationship experiences in the past. So feel proud that you’re willing to take that step.” It’s not an easy task to put yourself out there after a long while of keeping to yourself. Remember, you’re still the same you from before, you’re still great, and you still have the best to offer. There are new and exciting people out there, show yourself off!
Take Your Time
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always a good idea to dive in head first without testing the waters. Maybe download some of the dating apps you had deleted. Or maybe just download one! If apps aren’t your style, try going back to those bars or restaurants you would frequent. Walk in with a relaxed attitude, ease the pressure, and enjoy. Talk to people, initiate conversation, and overall, just get reintroduced to the ways in which modern dating works. In other words, dip your toes in the water, make some connections, and remember the first person you meet after your dating hiatus doesn’t have to be the one!
Focus on the Future
Charlotte Bridge of Elite Singles recounts, “There’s no point looking at your past relationship and comparing it to your current situation. Focusing on your ex will do you no good. A lot of people make the error of talking about their ex with a new person, both online and offline. Don’t do it! It gives the new person the impression you’re not ready to meet someone new.” Focus on the future and your newfound dating experiences. Thinking that it can only go up from here will leave you feeling hopeful!
Establish Expectations
Now that you’re a seasoned dater, your grasp on what you’re looking for in a partner should be established relatively well. If not, there’s still time! Balance long and short term aspirations, but don’t let them overshadow the enjoyable qualities of dating around. You’ve dated in the past, you know your likes versus dislikes and you know what you find attractive versus unattractive in a partner. Date mindfully, there’s no need to give someone a chance when you’re completely aware there’s no future with them. Put yourself first.
Have Fun With It
Take dating seriously if a relationship is what you’re looking for! But as you reenter the scene, remind yourself it can be fun as well. One dater, Maria Del Russo, of Refinery29, notes, “I can still be serious about dating and enjoy myself. I’m serious about my job, but that doesn’t mean my coworkers and I don’t have a good time while we’re here. It’s the same with dating. I can recognize that I’m serious about finding love, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find enjoyment with the men I meet and the dates I go on.” A leveled balance between fun and pursuing the ultimate goal of finding a partner may open new doors and unlock chances at relationships with people you would’ve never expected to cross paths with!
The time between relationships is times of self-reflection and time to evaluate likes to gear towards and dislikes to steer away from in the future. Though reentering the dating scene is intimidating, using these tips and skills will turn you into the unstoppable, confident dater you truly are!
Sources:
https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/get-back-into-dating
https://www.refinery29.com/2017/09/174122/taking-a-break-from-dating-burnout
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