What Can I Do To Overcome Fear of Abandonment? – 3 Simple Steps

Now you may be wondering; why does fear of abandonment only affect some people?  How much a person allows emotions that are tied to their past experiences with child abandonment, or abandonment in general, to influence their present and future relationships with others; will determine the level at which they are impacted.  As with anything, changing habits can be difficult, gets better with practice, and may take a long time.  Overcoming the fear of abandonment can be very challenging.  Overcoming the fear of abandonment also requires patience and courage.  Here are a few things you can do to help you overcome feeling abandoned.

#1 Acknowledge

Acknowledge that abandonment refers to the fact or action of abandoning or being abandoned. In some cases, one’s perception of being abandoned will be enough to provoke a strong emotional response thus causing abandonment issues.  Some of the issues are a result of the reaction to emotions involving loss, rejection, and loneliness.  What can help minimize the issues is to acknowledge the emotional responses to abandonment and work on managing how you respond to them in the future. Awareness of your tendencies is the first step in managing your response.

#2 Comfort yourself & Show compassion

Sometimes a simple internal repetition of “it’s going to be okay” may help to calm the initial responses. Once the emotions are calmed down, you could then see more clearly to evaluate the current situation accurately. Show yourself compassion for your weakness and also the weaknesses of others. Possibly, try considering that the ones who you perceive to be abandoning you, may possibly just be taking some time to calm down before they can see clearly too. Practicing giving yourself and others space to work through the emotions and to grow from experiences may help contribute to a more peaceful state. Again “it is going to be okay.” Also, take note that change is inevitable and everything is temporary. Expectations that people in your life will always be there to support you are unrealistic. Remaining in reality and realizing that it is okay that some experiences with people will only be temporary should support a more appreciative mindset. You are free to decide who you spend your time with. They are also free to decide who they want to spend their time with. Luckily there are currently 7.9 billion people on this planet and it is likely that you will find new relationships that will be more compatible with who you are today rather than who you were years ago. 

#3 Practice Clear Communication

Use more supportive and open communication strategies by acknowledging and complimenting people.  It could be as simple as just smiling at others.  You will be surprised by how many people approach you.  You should also focus on listening to others.  This means allowing them to completely finish their thought before you create your response, asking them additional questions to show interest.  Don’t be afraid to share information about yourself as well.  We can’t expect someone to self-disclose and be vulnerable with us if we are not willing to do the same for them.  The more open you are the more opportunities you have to meet people who won’t reject you.

Not quite sure if you have fear of abandonment? Visit Do I Suffer From Abandonment to learn more.